There is something about wine that naturally spurs a toast. A celebration is almost never considered complete without a bottle of wine being popped because sweet wine cheers the heart and gladdens the soul, more so, fresh wine.
This is a sequel to the New Wines post that I recently shared. The inspiration to piece this came from a feeling that you may also gain something from this series that I am opportune to be savouring at this season. I established two wisdom nuggets in the last post from what I learned; singles should not wake up love until they are ready for it and couples should understand that they are stronger together.
Moving forward in this series, I will share new wisdom nuggets from the freshly brewed wine that I savoured from my godly example, Rev. Oyenike Areogun in church last Sunday.
Wisdom Nuggets for Singles
#Nugget 1 – Beware of Jokers
This was one of the wisdom tips directed at singles, especially ladies. Lots of young ladies are in relationships that are just wasting their time and sucking up the nectars of their prime.
Quite unfortunately, most ladies linger in relationships that are undefined. Young ladies need to recognize that invitation to treat is not the same thing as an offer. A guy can chase a lady with all his might and at the same time not ready to make a commitment. The nugget of wisdom is to beware of ‘invitation to treat’ – dating relationships that linger for years without translating into an actual ‘offer’ – a marriage proposal. Babes, when guys hover around you aimlessly, please boldly ask him to point the goal post to you.
I encourage you to read the book titled "Characteristics of a Joker" by Rev, Oyenike at online bookstore.
Rule of thumb - Never assume!
#Nugget 2 – Resolve Critical Issues during courtship
This was the second wisdom capsule for singles. Most of the 'seemingly little’ issues that we fail to resolve during courtship often become the big challenges that threaten to pull a marriage apart. Some matters are just issue of personality differences - with understanding, they can be resolved or worked around but critical matters like issues of faith, major character flaw and much more are matters best addressed and resolved during courtship.
Rule of thumb – do not numb red flags during courtship
#Nugget 3 – Finding & being found
The issue of how to recognize the right person to say ‘yes I do’ to and share your life with has always been a concern for singles- male and female. ‘How do I know the right lady or how do I recognize the right man when he shows up?’ are questions as old as time. Some of the identifiers pointed out for singles include; physical attraction (not sexual), mental attraction and spiritual attraction. For some, what stoked the fire that eventually became a torrential bonfire was a physical attraction. Some other, they got endeared by the person’s mental capacity while for some, it was a spiritual knitting of the heart. Singles were taught that there are no hard and fast rule to what could stoke the fire but the bottom line is to take your desires back to God in the place of prayer to confirm God’s will.
Wisdom Nuggets for Couples
#Nugget 1 – Lock the door & throw away the keys
The baseline of the practical wisdom steps directed at couples was to have a mindset of permanence. Couples were enjoined to settle in their hearts and view their marriage from a vantage of permanence. Quite frankly, growing up and being single has a way of wiring a temporary mentality in us. We look forward to graduating at various levels, moving away from home, getting our first job, changing jobs and moving on in career. From temporarily living in your parents’ house, to temporarily bearing your surname, to temporally keeping some living in an apartment or living in a location - these unconscious wiring sometimes get carried over into marriage if not dealt with.
Rule of thumb – viewing your marriage from a permanent point of view helps you work at maintaining it
#Nugget 2 – Maintain the fabrics of your marriage
I was greatly blessed by this. The analogy that was used to illustrate this was the picture of a fabric. When we consistently pull out strands from a fabric without deliberately replacing it, we will be left with rags eventually. Couples were strongly advised to identify some of the missing strands in the fabrics of their relationships. For example, you two used to pray together, you used to see movies together, have dinner together, hang out periodically, plan the monthly budget together, welcome each other with home with a hug and peck, call each other sweet names… but at the moment, those strands have fallen off.
The peak of the meeting was when couples were asked to write out what they have identified to be missing in their marriages and exchange notes with each other. It was a eureka moment!
Just like we deliberately lubricate and service our engines periodically to deliver better power, marriages must be maintained to retain its luster and sheen!
This Saturday, 15th of December at 10:00 am GMT+1, more fresh wines will be brewed. Live questions that border around relations and marriages will be asked and answers of peace will be given.
I invite for a toast. Connect online for some refreshing sip of fresh wine.